20 Mom Quotes That Prove Motherhood is … Hilarious
We could write all day about the rollercoaster of emotions moms experience over the course of 60 seconds. While all 500 of these feelings are important to recognize, they are also exhausting. So, much like the discovery of laughter’s power in Monsters, Inc., we are here to fuel you with some laughter, too. Read on for 20 mom quotes that prove motherhood is a lot, and especially hilarious.
1“No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too.”
– Chrissy Teigen
2“Having kids makes you look stable to the people who thought you were crazy and crazy to the people who thought you were stable.”
– Kelly Oxford
3“I love cleaning up messes I didn’t make. So I became a Mom.”
4"When your children are teenagers, it's important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you."
– Nora Ephron
5"It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of food that my kid didn't finish…"
– Carrie Underwood
6"Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious."
7“Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy.”
– Michelle Pfeiffer
8"I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them."
– Reese Witherspoon
9“You know how once you have kids you never ever pee by yourself again? At least one of them is always in there with you at all times.”
— Jennifer Garner
10“If you've never said 'you need to back up a little so I can wipe myself,' then do you even have kids?”
– Amanda Seghetti
11"The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires."
– Dorothy Parker
12"Parenting tip: maybe don't leave Hungry Hungry Hippos on the floor of a dark room."
– Rachel Dratch
13"Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was."
– Jenny McCarthy
14“Once you stop being stressed if they mix the Play-doh colors, the second part of your life begins.”
15"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”
– Erma Bombeck
16“Humans are the only animals who have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.”
– P.J. O’Rourke
17"If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, ‘Keep Away From Children.’”
– Susan Savannah
18“I just broke up a fight between my daughter and her doll in case you’re wondering what parenting an only child is like.”
19"It's not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it."
– Betty White
20"A mother need only step into the shower to be instantly reassured she is indispensable to every member of her family."
– Lynne Williams