Motherhood: There's No One-Size-Fits-All Model

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Motherhood is often narrowly defined by the things that we do, how we choose to care for our children, or how our children outwardly act. Social media, advertisements, and well-intentioned advice from family and friends tell us how we “should” be as a mother, or how our children should behave, which then looks like a reflection of our role as a mother. The messages are often given with a weight of telling us what is “right” and what is “wrong” — defining us as either good or bad.

The challenge? There is no one-size-fits-all model of motherhood. There is no right or wrong in this role. There is no “expert” of all mothers everywhere. There isn’t a good or bad mother.

So how do you define "motherhood"?

Motherhood is the ever-growing experience of leaning into the unknown, the difficult, and the really hard moments.

"It is about learning to tune inward to our own emotions and needs and listening to what matters most to us."

Motherhood is about giving yourself permission.

Permission to let go of guilt. You are allowed to take time for yourself — time away from your children — and you can still be a great mother.

Permission to say “No.” No to the advice, to the words of wisdom passed down to you. To passing around your baby when you don’t want to. To doing things a certain way that doesn’t fit with who you want to be as a mother.

Permission to let go of comparisons and to trust that you are enough for your children, just as you are.

Permission to tune into what truly matters to you as a mother and to make choices each day that are in line with what is important to you.

Permission to grow. You are allowed to change and form new relationships, set new boundaries, and discover things about you that might even surprise you.

What would it be like if you could give yourself just a little bit of permission in your role as a mother?

Tags: Motherhood, Self Care

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Written By

Dr. Tracy Dalgleish

Dr. Tracy Dalgleish helps individuals and couples navigate the challenges we all face in our relationships and within ourselves to create a more meaningful life. See Full Bio

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