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4 Fun Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence


I remember the day I had to stand in front of 120-plus people and give a 30-minute presentation about a project that I was leading at work. My palms and armpits were sweating, my fingers were shaking, and I had an upset stomach all morning. It was the longest 30 minutes of my life. This was over 10 years ago.

Now, I speak to thousands on social media, have been featured as a guest expert on a TV show, and look forward to the day where I get to give a TED Talk about shattering divorce stigma.

The biggest difference between me now versus 10 years ago is my self-confidence.

The biggest difference between me now versus 10 years ago is my self-confidence. Self-confidence, according to Merriam-Webster, it’s defined as confidence in oneself and in one’s powers and abilities. Some people believe that you’re born with self-confidence, while others say that this is something you can work on. I’m in the camp of nurturing self-confidence.

Self-confidence is ultimately a feeling you sense in your body when you believe and think to yourself, “I got this, I can do this, I can figure it out, I know what I’m doing” type of thoughts. So, the more you focus on thoughts that help you produce this feeling of confidence, the more self-confident you will become.

As a result, you’ll set more goals, take more action, achieve more, learn more, live more, and ultimately become the future version of yourself.

Here are four exercises that I share with my clients to help boost their self-confidence that have nothing to do with standing in front of a mirror repeating affirmations.

Create an Accomplishment Log

Our brains are very good at dismissing all that we have accomplished and instead like for us to focus on where we are lacking. I encourage my clients to keep a running log of all that they have accomplished and refer to it on the days they’re feeling down as a reminder for the brain to create the feeling of self-confidence. This can include a range of accomplishments, from finishing college to going for a run, from learning how to make a new meal to going skiing for the first time.

Dress to Impress (You)

The clothes you wear affect how you feel, how you behave, your confidence, and the way you perceive yourself. Scientists call this “enclothed cognition.” If you want an instant confidence boost, switch up your wardrobe. For example, if you normally wear sweatpants or leggings, try on a skirt or dress. If your go-to shoes are sneakers, consider wearing boots or heels. For wardrobe inspiration and movie entertainment, check out The Devil Wears Prada.

Challenge Yourself Daily

Do something every day that scares you or requires you to get over your fear. The more you do things that you’re not comfortable doing, the more confident you’ll become. Examples include: asking for a raise, public speaking, wearing a sexy outfit — even texting a love interest first.

Dance Like a Diva

Music is a great tool to quickly elevate your mood and get out of your head and into your body. I recommend creating a curated “pick-me-up” playlist with songs that you love that you’ll want to start dancing to right away. For me, this includes reggaeton, Bollywood, hip-hop, classic rock, and modern pop.

With these four exercises, you'll challenge yourself and begin to grow new "muscles" of confidence.

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