3 Reasons Cats Are Totally Better Than Online Dating
There are a lot of people who use the term crazy cat lady … like it’s a bad thing. To many men, women are crazy no matter what we do, but especially if we prefer these fluffy friends to them. Which makes sense — especially in the digital age. Many of us single ladies, or even those who are attached, have had at least one negative experience looking for love on the internet. For those of us who have only had bad luck, we know that adopting a feline is way more rewarding than dating online. Why? Let’s examine the scientific and peer-reviewed evidence.
1. With a cat, what you see is what you get. Cats are honest about their feelings and what they want from you, even if it’s just treats, some head scratch, or to be left alone. And if a cat has lots of fur or none at all, is skinny or fat, or has a crush on another cat in your neighbourhood — you’ll know about it. Unlike that dude Alex whose hot photos — taken during his college days — made you swipe right, and he’s now balding and his only six-pack is in his fridge. Or Jay, who said he was looking for a long-term relationship on his profile but was really looking for the flavor of the week. And then of course Roberto, who casually forgot to note that he was married.
2. The weird and even naughty habits of cats are often cute and funny. Be it randomly attacking your feet, making those strange sounds at birds through the window, or conveniently unrolling the toilet paper — you must admit you get a kick out of it. However, when it comes to that guy you met on Bumble whose bachelor pad looked more like a frat house … not so much. Cali the Calico waking you up with purrs, whiskers, and meows is way better than a bunch of messages from online guys at 2 a.m., like “u awake? can i come over?” While Benny the Bengal’s dead-mouse delivery might not be welcome, you know in cat language he’s giving you a present — and it’s the thought that counts. Yet the dating profile pictures of men holding dead fish or that freshly shot deer with a drizzle of blood trickling from its nostril? Umm, just no.
3. Cats don’t care what you look like, nor are they bothered by your odd human behavior. While it’s said that men are simple creatures and the way to their heart is through their stomach, we know deep down this really applies to cats. Your kitty won’t complain if you gain 30 pounds, forget to shave your legs, binge-watch QVC and The Real Housewives, or talk to them like they are your human child. And most of them won’t complain about cuddling. As long as you feed them and treat them well, they’re good. A man, however, will almost always put his foot in his mouth even if you are putting food in it. That charming guy you met on Match.com who also loves movies but won’t see that “chick flick” with you? He belongs in the litter box. That stud personal trainer from eHarmony who suggested you would feel and look better if you jogged five miles and did 20 squats while PMSing instead of sitting home eating ice cream? Someone needs to be eHarmed!
Instead of spending your evening swiping, matching, and dodging dodgy dudes’ messages, try some real entertainment and buy your cat some catnip. Trust me, it will be more wild and entertaining than any jokes or pick-up lines you’ll hear on the wild web.