How to Increase Your Self-Confidence

Some people believe that either you're born with self-confidence or you're not. Growing up, I used to be shy, hated public speaking, and didn’t believe in myself. I remember the time I even wet my pants in kindergarten because I was so terrified of speaking.

A lot has changed since kindergarten. I’ve found my voice and I do something that scares me every single day. I’ve learned that self-confidence is simply confidence in yourself and something that you can improve, like any other muscle in your body over time. Here are four steps to help you get started.

Decide That You Are Worthy

Consider a woman whom you think is worthy and ask yourself, What do you think she deserves? How should she be treated? Is she worthy of love or the things that she desires? Turn that mirror and offer yourself the same sentiment. You are equally worthy.

Notice Your Negative Self-talk

If all you do is speak negatively about yourself, then it’s no surprise you don’t feel confident. I personally struggled with this one. It wasn’t until I kept a "negative self-talk" log for a day that I realized I was the problem. Every time I said something negative, I then asked myself, What would I say to a loved one?

Start an Accomplishment Log

Make a daily list of all the things that you accomplished rather than what’s still missing. This exercise will reaffirm your abilities to your subconscious.

Do Something That Scares You

When we challenge ourselves to go outside our comfort zone, we prove to ourselves that we are capable of doing things, which then reaffirms our confidence in ourselves. For me, this includes things like kayaking for the first time, learning about interior design, and figuring out how to create a website.


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