My Evolving Female Friendships

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I’ve seen a lot of my friendships end throughout my life. These friendships didn’t end because of an argument or something sinister. They were mostly sparked by big life transitions: graduations, moves, job changes, etc.

For a long time I thought there was something wrong with me. When I took inventory of all the people I felt so close to at one point and whom I no longer speak to, it made me feel like the worst friend in the world. But over time, reflection, and conversations with other women my age, I learned that this is fairly normal.

Our friendships are often centered on something — school, a sport, a club, or a job — and those things are likely to end, which means that our friendships do, too. This is really heartbreaking, but I’ve learned to shift my perspective and appreciate those finite friendships for what they were.

As we age, we grow, and it’s completely natural to outgrow the things and people around us, including friendships. It’s a hard pill to swallow because we usually believe our friendships are meant to last a lifetime.

In a few weeks, I am going to turn 31, and I can safely say that I have changed no fewer than 100 times since high school. It’s only natural that some of my friendships would no longer be right for me. I’ve learned to mourn the loss of those friendships while appreciating newness.

Change isn’t always good or bad. Sometimes it just is.

Tags: Friends

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Stephanie Delacy

Stephanie is a blogger and content creator who loves to write about dating and mental health, especially when the two inev... See Full Bio

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