My BFF Took Over My Dating Profile and It Worked Out Great

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After getting an early pandemic divorce, I spent my first few months as a single lady in semi-isolation, home with two kids and no school, with very little socialization of any kind, let alone dating.

This suited me just fine as I’d been with my ex-husband my entire adult life and getting out of that relationship was a big, traumatic deal. I wasn’t eager to jump back into the dating pool.

You Can’t Hold Back Spring 

However, as the cherry blossoms bloomed and my brand-new vaccine immunity kicked in, my childhood best friend came to visit and, as we ate takeout on our first night together, she said, “But do you want to date someone, sometime?”

I admitted I’d made an online dating profile but was swiftly overwhelmed and intimidated by it. There were too many fish in the sea. As in, there were too many shirtless dudes holding fish by the sea. I struggled to believe it would be possible to sort through the spectrum of men to find one who could handle me and my life situation: mid-30s, two kids, divorced, etc. 

My Friend Was Up for the Challenge for Me 

My friend is a psychiatrist by profession, which makes her supremely more qualified to sort through the masses of men online. That, and she’s been my best friend since we were toddlers and knows me better than anyone (she suffered through my boy band and Titanic phases, after all).

She dove right into my profile and honed my blurbs and pictures. She sifted through the people who had “liked” and messaged me, deleted the creepy ones, and helped me chat with some prospective partners. I felt like I had my own Cyrano de Bergerac without the nose and the tragedy. I sprawled on the living room floor with a pillow over my face, making sarcastic comments. She translated them into semi-coherent online flirting. 

It Was My Turn To Take Over

She had me take over the typing. For the week she stayed with me, we worked from home during the day and, in the evenings after the kids were in bed, we ordered takeout and chatted on the apps. “We could do something else, you know,” I said after two days. “We could watch a movie.”

“This is fun for me, living vicariously,” she replied. She’d been married to her college sweetheart for years. It was an act of love to help her friend get back out into the world again. 

Being Reminded of the Love I Have

I ended the week with two virtual dates on the books, and couldn't have felt more loved. Yes, there were men on the internet who I found attractive and who were capable of a real conversation. But, more than the potential for romantic love, my week reinforced that I have a love that will outlast any dating relationship: the love of my childhood best friend. 

Even though we are close and we’ve been through every awkward phase and growth together, being vulnerable with her about my potential love life was hard. When I allowed myself to open up to her about my desire for a new life, it enabled me to open up to the possibility of being vulnerable with someone new. I’m grateful she gave me that not-so-little push. And — no matter what happens in cyberspace or the real world — I know I’ll always have her support from the sidelines. 

Tags: Dating, Friends, Social Media

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Written By

Laura Wheatman Hill

Laura Wheatman Hill lives in Oregon with her two children. She has been published by CNN, Real Simple, Parents, and others. See Full Bio

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